A number of people (big hugs, you know who you are) have pointed out that I really don’t appear to have that many problems, that I’m perfectly normal. Fact is, in comparison to many many others, I really don’t. I can hold down a job, have perfectly reasonable relationships with perfectly reasonable people, and raise lovely children well and responsibly. Fact is also that I’m still not satisfied and I think I have good reason to think I could be more.
Let’s take a poll… What would you want more of in your life…Not money or fame or those things – I’m not a freaking genie – what would you want your brain to do better? Please take this little poll and then read on.
In part what I’m talking about, and trying for, is not…normal. I think our “normal” is kinda broken. Some more, some less, but broken. We live in a world where the large majority of people consider themselves “normal” but also spend a good portion of their time hiding the many many things that make them not normal from the world. Are you normal? Am I? Is the autistic child or the guy with tourette’s on the bus a form of alien, completely unlike me in any way? Or do we all sit somewhere on the same line, like birds on a telephone wire.
I think there’s a a big bulge of us in the middle, supposed norms, some a little quirky, some not so sensitive to the needs of others, some engineers, god help them. And out on one end is the autistic boy. He’s not really different, or even broken. He’s just way far out on the end of the wire, out past the engineers and the shut-ins, in a place we can’t easily reach, with many of the same things we see in ourselves everyday, just way more of it.
There’s also the other end of the (same) wire, from emotionally sensitive on out to the clinically depressed and suicidal, whom life rubs so raw that they simply can’t survive it. I know I sit somewhere on that scale…where seems to depend on what day it is. Happily, suicide has never really been a draw, but I admit to feeling completely crushed by my life at times.
Perhaps there are a whole bunch of wires that crisscross, perhaps the reality is something more complex. My point is that it’s a lot easier for us to believe that we are one of the many, and they are the shattered few. I just don’t think it’s true.
So the poll: It’s a list (except for write-ins) of all the things that Neurotherapy works well at resolving. Many of them are things we naturally assume can’t be changed without serious drugs and an admission that we are one of the few broken souls.
What if it’s all a lot easier than that? What would you do if you didn’t have to hide your differences, your failures, the things that hold you back? Perhaps it’s as easy as putting a cast on a broken leg, healing it rather than continuing to just limp along.
Pure speculation of course…We’ll see when it comes down to it. But whether neurotherapy helps me or not, I think it’s worth asking the question…what IS normal?