Neurotherapy – Day 7 – IT’S ALIVE!!!

frankensteinOk – that experimental thing was awesome. Loved it. Talk about motivation…just totally fired up and not in a can’t sit still sort of way; more a “I can start or do anything” sort of way.

When three quarters of your problem is a sense of exhaustion at the thought of beginning things, that’s a big deal.

The first of the two sessions, we did the experimental 40 hz training on both sides of the forehead (I note that Sue only did this on my last day as she knew she would be seeing me over the next few days at the course and would be able to discuss with me whether it was throwing me off). Then we mellowed out its potential jumpy or destabilizing effects with a little more temporal lobe training (same electrode placement we use for the migraines). The feeling I got from it was completely clear and motivated – absolutely great. But still not perfect…

Went and sat in Starbucks reading a text for a bit. Lots of motivation to read but missing some concentration factor that allows me to focus on the words. I discussed this with Sue when I went back for session two so we decided to focus on more calming and the focus control placement that was working before. Together the combination is really good (so far – it can take a little while for things to shake out). Motivation + focus and control = Stuff gets done – at least for me. YaaaaaY!

Which brings me to another topic… Despite repeated protestations that it won’t, people keep asking about whether this will change me. I now believe I may have been full of shit. Having a taste of real motivation, I now have a clearer idea of the many ways I do things that are wrapped up in looking like I’m doing things when I’m really not. Those things may change. And depending on what you thought of me before, you may now be seeing something different. Hopefully it won’t be worse. Hopefully because I like this better and am unlikely to change it back, thank you.

Things that are unlikely to change (I think):

  • I’ll still be a nice guy. (just a nice guy that gets more done)
  • I’ll still have this crazy head that jumps from topic to topic and makes all kinds of wonky connections from left right and centre field. (I’ll just be able to stop it where I want and focus on one topic when I need to)
  • I’ll still be unpredictable (but I might be on time)
  • I’ll still be sensitive to others’ emotions (but I might be less vulnerable to the crap around me)
  • I’ll still be your friend (probably – you might want to bring me cookies or beer just to be on the safe side)
  • I’ll still look the same (but I might smile more) [ed. note – The bolts are hardly visible but don’t comment; he gets testy.]

Experiments

The therapies they are using at EEG have been tested any number of times on lots of people. You are perfectly safe.

That said, I love (did I say love? I meant LOVE) that neurotherapy is a reasonably new field, with lots of room for growth.

One of my favourite parts about this, that I realize not everyone would be comfortable with nor do they have to try anything even slightly new, is the opportunity to do real research into the nature and function of the brain WITH MY OWN HEAD. With no significant danger of screwing it up. Fun!

Granted there’s some work to be done. I’m going to throw down a good chunk of cash on the therapy, clinical training and a machine to work with. I need to learn way more than I know now. And I’ll need a professional designation (like psychologist or nurse) before I can do significant work on anyone else.

In the mean time, it’s a bit like being at a banquet in a foreign country. Takes a lot of work to get there, but once you are at the table… wow. Everythings new and different, you can try anything and if you don’t like it…discretely spit it out, have some wine and go back to that other stuff, which was delicious. The sense of possibility is breathtaking.

Another question from the floor – Should I do this?

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Yes. Results may vary. I have one brain and you have another. Yours may resist the process more or less than mine does. You may like the process more or less than I do (actually can’t see the “more” – I loved it). It’s an emerging field. Some things they just don’t understand yet. [ed. and Pharmacuetical companies have no real idea what lots of drugs do to women or children because they never checked. At least this process is undestructive and open about newness]. Your specific concern may not respond as well as mine or may not respond at all (some things, like schizophrenia and sociopathy are challenging to treat).

However, if you have the money or know someone who will help, this is amazing stuff. It’s powerful, easy (god so easy), with no significant side effects and it is permanent (mostly – only the effects of things like dementia can be improved – the root cause isn’t being cured). If you have anything on this list I posted a couple of days ago… it’s sooo worth it.

As I also said, we’re all a bit broken. Lots of people (stock brokers, business executives, etc) use neurotherapy as a tool for improved performance. It boosts their concentration and abilities same as it does mine, they just started out a bit better. What’s telling is…they have just as many problems or broken areas as people who are functioning at a lower level. It’s just that their OCD or anxiety or whatever is working to make them effective in their field so no one notices (an OCD broker who has to check stock prices every 5 minutes may be a better judge of when to sell for instance). Sue at the clinic mentions that when people come in for peak performance, often lots of other things pop up. When those are fixed, they don’t leave unable to do their jobs all of a sudden. Unless maybe they are a hitman who came in for faster reflexes and all of a sudden acquires empathy. I can see that being a problem. Mostly they just become fuller, happier, better-rounded and complete humans.

So yes you should try it. Or you should keep reading my blog over the next month or so as I continue to track changes. Whichever one, if you decide to do it:

  • Go here (I am partial to their particular method – I think the system itself puts client first both in the way the electronics are designed and in the way they fundamentally approach the clinical process) and look up a clinician that uses the Othmer system.
  • Have a consultation and decide if the person doing the therapy is your sort of person. This is remarkably important as trust is the fastest way for you to figure out together what the best treatment is. If you don’t trust them enough to tell them what’s wrong they will be less likely to be able to help you.
  • Ask them if they have done neurotherapy themselves. Not all have. It’s important. If they haven’t, you might want to check if someone else has.
  • Have fun. It is.

Thank you, I’m sorry and a big list

shoulderandneck13I started this blog as a way to see if my process couldn’t perhaps help more people than just myself. I’ve have quite a few people say, “hey I see parts of myself there”, and I have to say I’m really gratified and pleased. But there’s no doubt it’s a two way street. The process of writing for all of you is a serious gut check every single time I put fingers to keyboard. What should I put in, what is too personal? Well, turns out that the best way to help people connect with the process is to just be me, not too edit-y and pretty honest about what going on. I normally hide a lot about myself, and that’s a strange and scary feeling. I feel like I’m up on the edge of a cliff (I hate heights too)…but the audience, the confessional I suppose, is making me feel better about myself, stronger and clearer.

So thank you.

In that vein….They say that the first thing a person who is choking will try to do is leave the room, as if dying in front of people were a terrible, shameful inconvenience for the other diners. In the same way I suppose, whether it’s ADD or the tendency to depression, the stuff I’m looking at now in neurotherapy…well, I’m ashamed of it. I’ve kept it all well hidden from the world, or even myself, for my entire life. I haven’t known I was ADD until I started looking at neurotherapy for depression (which is harder to miss – dark curtains and a fetal position are a dead giveaway).  In the course of looking at what neurotherapy does, I came across some clear descriptions of what ADD looks like. It looks like me apparently.

I also don’t have a lot of ability to complete complex tasks that require a lot of forward planning. I’m a bright guy, I can bumble along getting day to day stuff done, and I have lucid times when I can look ahead and see past my toes for a bit. I can even be a total star. But all people really see is a guy who can think pretty quickly in conversation. So they are really really disappointed in me when stuff gets dropped or just don’t git done. “Jeez Tim, if you can do it then, you can do it now. You must just be lazy.” And I’m disappointed in me too.

I’ve spent me whole life not understanding that there are good reasons for that; that being broken isn’t really a badge of shame so much as a sign of being human.

The thing that really brings that home (strangely) is some of the technical manuals on how to do neurotherapy. One of them is a very matter-of-fact list of what to do with certain symptoms and syndromes. Quite frankly I’m staggered by the list of things that can be changed, or improved. I get that it’s a really powerful technique. The brain has an amazing ability to be flexible, to find a way to change itself and adapt to it’s environment. Neurotherapy takes the adaptation systems the brain has developed to keep us alive, and channels them toward repairing the things that are holding us back. That’s an amazing tool, but even knowing that, I look at the list and see a whole bunch of people, myself included, that I had kind of written off as never going to get better or be more. For all of you, myself included, I’m sorry.

Here’s an partial version of the list, in no particular order:

  • Migraines
  • Seizures
  • Asthma
  • Mood swings
  • Depression and motivation challenges
  • ADD/ADHD and difficulties focusing or ability to plan ahead
  • Emotional and impulse control and anger/fear management, dangerous thrill seeking and self-injuring
  • Attachment disorder
  • Autism Spectrum Disorder and Asbergers
  • Anxiety challenges, including OCD, Tourettes, panic attacks, paranoia
  • Flashbacks and fears stemming from past incidents, including Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and childhood abuse
  • Body issues, including Anorexia, Bulimia, over or under eating and sugar cravings
  • Inability to plan
  • Control over ones body/clumsiness.
  • Addictions
  • Nightmares
  • Physical tension, including Bruxism (tight jaw and teeth grinding)
  • Sleep challenges
  • Pain and pain management, including Fibromyalgia, low pain threshold, Sciatica and chronic nerve pain
  • Poor math or language ability

This list seems ridiculous, even to me. Like a travelling salesman with his fancy wagon, selling snakeoil to the local hicks. Hence the “I’ll try it first and you can see what you think” approach. We tend to single out the diseases, illneses and broken bits, putting them up against a wall and shining a narrow spotlight on them. We don’t tend to think in terms of larger, interacting systems, and we certainly don’t think about what a healthy human looks like, or how to create that. It’s how our medical system operates, and it’s how we’ve come to think of ourselves and our bodies. It’s clear, however, that the brain can command an amazing number of resources, can touch an incredible number of things within us. By harnessing that, we have a hell of a tool.