Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Hey. I’m Tim.

I’ve got some stuff wrong with me and I’m going to try using neurotherapy to fix it.

Thing is, I don’t really know what’s wrong. I come off as all right, bright even. I just don’t seem to get ahead. Lots of skill, just never quite accomplish the the things I want to complete.

I’ve talked to professionals who told me I was fine…Fact is my greatest fear is that they are right. Maybe I’m just lazy.

And yet, I don’t feel lazy. I feel trapped. Trapped and I don’t know how, or how to escape from it.

I procrastinate, crunch into myself, get depressed, can’t concentrate, forget stuff…maybe it’s all part of being human. Or maybe there really is something going on. Maybe that can’t be changed. Maybe it’s something that can be fixed so I can reach my real potential. Maybe I just don’t have any greater potential than I have already reached.

Maybe I’m completely delusional, thinking there is something greater within me.

Or maybe I have generalized prefrontal cortex difficulties that affect a whole bunch of areas in my life. Could be anything from minor brain damage due to birth trauma (Those gosh darn forceps) to mild ADHD, to heritable depression or some interesting cocktail of any and all those.

Whatever…I’m done with not knowing how to deal with it. Or being less than I need to be.

So I’m going to have a good long look, using neurotherapy. They are going to do a full scan of my brainwaves and hopefully pinpoint what the hell’s going on. Then they might be able to fix it. Neurotherapy works pretty well for some of that stuff, from what I’ve seen. I’m leaving for California in a month to assess and maybe re-train my brain, to learn how EEG training works, and to bring back an EEG machine that will make it all happen.

Wish me luck.

PS. This is me, except I don’t actually get the shopping done either. Procrastination. Lunch of Champions

PPS. I’m going to try and keep track of how I’m feeling over this month. Obviously it’s not really a scientific process, more the blind leading the doubly-blind. See how it goes.